Why I Started My Garden
To be honest, last year I was having these reoccurring freak out moments where I felt like everything that was mine had been taken away. It may sound dramatic, but I’d truly wake up in the middle of the night panicked. Feeling trapped or more so just severely alone. Which is ridiculous because I had what was most important, my family and our health. I even had the privilege of staying at home with me family 24/7. As quarantine dragged on, I felt more and more alone. Which also made me feel guilty because like I said, I truly didn’t have any reason to complain.
Though as 2020 progressed it proved to be a solemn moment in history for all of us, each day bringing new painful burdens to everyone. The year hit us all wildly different. Some obviously were struck harder than others, though one thing is certain, we all had to pivot our lifestyle and switch up where we sourced our happiness from. I felt like I couldn’t go anywhere, because I literally wasn’t able to. I also felt like I couldn’t escape for a quick breath of fresh air. I’d go for a walk alone, FaceTime a friend. I was ticking away at all the things that I could do for myself, by myself, while staying at home and each time feeling defeated. I live in a house with my husband and two children and yet I felt so alone. Did I mention I felt alone? Anyways, I have family and friends, an online community to share my heart with and I still felt so fiercely alone. I kept these feelings to myself only making things worse until I had a break down and cried for nearly a whole day. I wasn’t unhappy, but I was at the same time. I had everything I needed, but nothing just for me. It all sounds so selfish now that I type it out. However, one can’t serve from an empty cup and my cup need to be refilled desperately. I needed something to do with my hands, a new hobby? Something to call my own, a place where I could dive in deep and feel rewarded. Obviously this so-called oasis needed to be at my home because you know, 2020.
My grandmother who lives in Costa Rica always talks so colorfully about her backyard garden. I’ve sat in her garden many times enjoying coffee in the morning and a cocktail in the afternoon. It is a gorgeous place to be. You can always find my grandmother out there tooling around with her plants. In her own world. Her garden keeps her happy I know, because she always says so. She too feels alone a lot of the time while she lives in Costa Rica with her husband, my grandfather, her grandchildren live in the United States. Her garden is her reprieve.
After a call with my grandma I felt inspired. I decided to start my own garden on a single prayer asking whoever was listening to me to bring me a sense of release. Please, allow this new garden adventure to bring an escape from the world and mend my feelings of solitude.
I started my garden journey last August right smack in the middle of a global pandemic and never looked back. I jumped in head first, learning as I went. Watching countless videos online, reading gardening books, and just tried things out just to watch the outcome. Within a few weeks we had our first sprouts (a radish and green beans) and I had fallen in love. I fell in love with the smell of dirt and those tender first moments a seed sprouts up from soil. It felt, and still does, like magic! Pure magic unfolding in my backyard.
We’ve come a long way my garden and I. I share weekly garden updates on my Instagram Stories and a lot of you have shared your own gardens with me. My only regret is that I didn’t start my garden earlier! With Spring coming up I will soon share a few of my garden tips to hopefully inspire you to start your own garden this year. I promise even if you think you don’t have a “green thumb” you can certainly start growing.
You know what is funny? I started my garden last year to carve out a place just for me to go and be alone. It completely served me and ended up enriching my life far past what I had hoped for. But now, now my kids join me in my garden. It is still my own in the early mornings. Though Mila and Maya love tooling around my plants along side me come the afternoon. I will say, harvesting our food that we grow together is so rewarding. Memories made with my girls in my garden are priceless!
The love I have for my garden is fierce. I don’t feel alone anymore and honestly, if you ever feel like I did don’t be afraid to create something just for you. You deserve it and it is healthy to do things on your own for a bit. Anyways, that is why I started my garden last August and I love it so.
