Learning Sisterhood Part 3 - "No! That Is Mine!"

As most of you know the transition into sisterhood has been a major adjustment for literally everyone in our home. Welcoming baby Maya has been such an incredible blessing and filled with such memorable moments. Though it also has come with some struggles, melt downs (from everyone), and really emotional situations. There is nothing I have enjoyed more than to watch my girls learn about each other, play together, and beam with light when they spot one another. Adding another baby to the family was something that we planned for and even fought for after struggling through a miscarriage. I never loose sight of how lucky we are to have two healthy girls … but I will say it is completely OK to admit that life can be downright difficult at times as we all relearn life. If any of you feel like you are struggling with your siblings at times, I hear you and see you. I am here going through it too. Sometimes it helps to know you aren’t alone.

One thing I have been waiting and praying for since the moment we found out we were pregnant with Mila was to get the chance to experience my kids physically interacting. Since, Ryan had already passed when Mila was born I never got the chance to see them be together. There have been many moments where I can feel them together or see signs of Ryan around us. I also believe that Ryan and Mila have a deeper connection blind to our eyes that only the two of them know. Sometimes I get glimpses of it when Mila talks about Ryan randomly or explains to me Ryan’s favorite songs and movies. Things she has picked up since we are so open about Ryan. Though hearing her talk about her brother brings me such happiness and proves to me they have an indescribable bond. When we welcomed Maya into the world one thing I couldn’t wait to see was her and Mila interacting together. As a mother of three I’d be finally getting the chance to see my kids physically interacting and that felt so huge to me!

Now at the start I wrote about the beginning of sisterhood for us. You can read HERE and HERE to get caught up. I’ve also listed a few helpful transition tips HERE if you are interested. We are now entering our ninth month and while things are going pretty well, we’ve hit the ever so popular milestone “NO! That is mine!” Now that Maya is mobile and quite a quick crawler she books it to Mila and wants to play/grab/pull/knock down whatever she has going on. We are in the thick of trying to teach and explain to Mila that Maya just wants to play. We tell her that Maya isn’t being mean by knocking over her toys etc. Mila sometimes gets frustrated and there are tears. We are teaching Mila that if she wants to play with something special where no one will touch it, then she will have to sit at the table or somewhere out of reach. A lot of the time the girls play near a each other but not together. Ever so often Mila will read to Maya or the two of them will be laughing together and my heart bursts and things all feel so beautiful. I will say I am grateful for all the moments, even the really hard ones. The hard moments allow me to really soak in and appreciate the good ones. The hard moments are also really great teaching moments for all of us and help me work on gaining more patience.

Life right now is whirl wind with Covid-19, distance learning, sisterhood. Everyday is different it seems, and most of the time I feel like I’m trying to keep everyones spirits high (including my own) just to make it through the day. I’m clinging to all the good at the moment to help carry me. Let me know how you are doing in the comments below!

I’ll leave you with this. At some point in the day the girls will come together and just sort of sit in front of each other. Mila will make funny sounds or play with Maya’s feet and the two of the laugh. It is the best sound and I absolutely adore it. They do this nearly once a day for different amounts of time and I love it. Sometimes it happens at the dinner table and the whole family will just start laughing together.

I feel Ryan in our laughter and maybe it could be him bringing the girls together for a laugh. That is what I think.